10 ways for carers to get unstuck and move forwards
- Suzanne Bourne
- Jul 22
- 4 min read
Let's face it, as carers, there are moments when we feel like we've hit a brick wall.
Whether it be something that's not in our control or our limiting beliefs, we're sharing 10 ways carers have been able to get unstuck and move forward.
Top common things carers often feel stuck with
Some of us might be feeling stuck with particular emotions, low energy or anxiousness - both our own emotions and those of the people we care for. Our physical health, pain or lack of sleep are also issues we have felt unable to change. Sound familiar? Read on.
There are practical problems too, sorting out benefits, forms and finances, getting organised, finding work and arranging support services.
Carers have also shared that waiting for responses from people, lack of time due to caring responsibilities, being unable to leave the house and lack of motivation have also played a role in making us feel stuck.
“I have an overload of problems and I don't know what the next step is”
How can we get unstuck and start moving forward?
The things we get stuck with and the reasons we are stuck are probably a little unique to us. So here are 10 things we can try... all we need is for one thing to work and we could be moving forwards again:
Work on small steps rather than thinking about the big change
Big goals can feel overwhelming, and that can stop us before we even begin. Breaking things down into small, manageable steps can make things feel more achievable. It might be that we choose to shrink our to-do list to only three things a day, or try out the "two minute rule" (to start a bigger task, commit to just two minutes).
See if someone else can help
We don’t have to do everything alone. Asking someone else for help, advice, or even just company can lighten the load and change how we feel about the task. Sometimes just saying something out loud can help us see it more clearly.
Can our friends or family help? There is a saying that we will never know if we don’t ask. If that's not possible for us, carers in the Mobilise Hub have formed wonderful friendships offering each other support.
Try something different
When we feel stuck, it’s often a sign that our usual approach isn’t working. Even trying something small, a different time of day, a different place or a different method, can shift our mindset.
“If we always do what we always did, we’ll always get what we always got”
Make a plan and prioritise
When everything feels urgent or important, it’s hard to know where to begin. Making a plan helps turn chaos into clarity. Check out our handy priority matrix to help with deciding what is the most important thing to focus on right now, and what can wait.
Only work on things that are in our control
It’s easy to get caught up in what others are doing... or not doing. But focusing on what we can influence helps us feel more empowered. Letting go of what we can’t control is a form of progress in itself and we share simple tools that can help.
Ask ourselves, are we getting in our own way?
Sometimes it’s the stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck. Do we believe we’re not capable, or that no one will help us? Gently challenging those thoughts can make space for new possibilites. Our carers' guide to impossible or hard things might spark some ideas.
Can we pass it onto someone else?
Takie a moment to pause and think, is this really something we need to carry, or is it something that someone else could pick up? Delegating or sharing responsibility isn't as easy as it sounds particularly if we're often met with resistance. But we might surprised by who might want to step in to help.
Use some strategies to fight procrastination
Procrastination can often be confused with laziness when it simply is a case of overwhelm or fear in disguise. Simple techniques like the “two-minute rule” that we mentioned earlier (if something will take two minutes, do it now) or reviewing our to-do lists (to check if we should really be doing those things) can help us get started. And once we start, we’re usually on our way.
Give ourselves permission to take a break
Sometimes pushing through just makes things harder. Taking a proper break guilt-free and taking time to recharge can be more effective. In the Mobilise Hub, we like to call these "micro-respite" which little pockets of time in the day to ourselves.
Acceptance
We left the hardest to last. Acceptance is different from giving up - it’s about recognising what is, rather than constantly struggling against it, and that can be incredibly freeing. When we stop fighting reality, we free up energy to respond in new, more effective ways.
We then asked carers, "What is one thing you want to do for yourself (yes you - no one else)?"
Lots of the things we are stuck with are not the things we would choose to be doing. They are essential things for us to do as carers, or just what life has thrown at us. So, of course, they are not easy or sometimes even possible to just “get done”.
For a bit of inspiration, here are the things we said we want to do for ourselves:
Be kind to myself, find my peace of mind
Have a holiday, the seaside, get away for a day and meet a friend
Time to myself without interruptions, 24 hours doing what I want to do.
Pilates, yoga, walking, long country walk, more exercise
Getting hair done, massage
Sleep, get well, look after my mental health
Buy myself a birthday present
Go to the theatre, attend Church events, things that enrich my life
“A day to read, knit and just be me”
Thank you to everyone in the Mobilise Hub who shared their responses.
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