Sending our children back to school may seem like a huge step after a long break-off. Often more so, when our children have special educational needs.
For many of us, this transition comes with some strong emotions - not only for our children but also for us as parents and carers.
When our children are anxious and perhaps 'acting up' over going back, there is an emotional (and sometimes physical) impact on their parent carers or siblings too.
"One of my children is on the point of school refusal - it's very stressful. School starts tomorrow - wish us luck. One thing is for sure - we will all be exhausted from the build-up."
It's important to acknowledge that it's OK to feel anxious and that those feelings are being mirrored in many households right now.
Equally, if your child or you, as a young adult, can't wait to go back or get started - that's absolutely fine too! There are no right or wrong feelings - we're just acknowledging that there are feelings - and many are strong ones.
"I'm much more relaxed about my children going back to school than I thought. I'm keen for us to get back into the school routine."
Helpful resources for our children
Each child has different reasons for worrying about returning to school. Some may experience feelings of anxiety over new routines, academic performance or simply the thought of being around lots of people again - all of which are completely normal.
The good news is there are many different online resources out there to help take the dread out of learning and add in a bit of fun.
Helpful resources for children with anxiety
We've sought recommendations from within the Mobilise community and beyond to bring create a list of resources they found helpful.
Childline has Calm Zone, which has a brilliant toolbox of resources to support children with anxiety. Including breathing exercises, video games and short 'ways to cope' videos. There is a real breadth of tools, and hopefully something for everyone.
For older children, Safetynet has produced an online magazine, which talks directly to the child. This can be very helpful where children respond better to tips that haven't come from us. It talks about why we may be feeling anxious and things we can do to help ourselves.
Resources for children with learning disabilities
For those of us caring for a child with learning disabilities, we know that they'll need extra support and patience with understanding new routines, new teachers and new classmates.
For children who are familiar with using symbols, Widgit have a free 'back to school' pack with all kinds of helpful back-to-school symbols.
Oxford Owl have a free eBook library for children aged 3-11, with a selection of books that support children with reading difficulties. It also includes free phonics resources and activities.
Speech and Language Kids provides free resources, games, and activities to support children with speech and language difficulties. The site offers printable materials and guides for parents and educators.\
GoNoodle provides free movement and mindfulness videos that are particularly helpful for children with SEN. These activities can help children manage their emotions, focus, and relax.
Cosmic Kids Yoga offers free yoga and mindfulness videos on YouTube, designed to engage children in activities that support physical and mental wellbeing. The videos are fun and accessible for children with SEN.
Parent carer anxiety
As parent carers, some of us are experiencing worry and anxiety about our children returning. There are a few things we can do, which give us a sense of control and may address any concerns.
Don't be afraid to pick up the phone or send an email to the school. Yes, they're busy - but they also want the return to school to be a success. We all have the same goal. Ask questions. Tell them what would help. Our idea may actually be helpful to many other families.
Be kind to ourselves and access some of the resources and tools (see below), to support our own wellbeing. If our minds are 'at peace', this will only help our children.
Top tips for parent carers during the back to school period
It's so important that we remember to look after ourselves in all of this. All kinds of feelings may be going through us right now from relief, to guilt, from anxiety to fear.
In previous blogs, we've shared many tips to support ourselves, including:
Each of the blogs includes short, helpful activities and videos of practical ways to support ourselves. Plus, join the Mobilise Hub where thousands of carers (including parent carers), are sharing conversations, tips and experiences.
1. Adjusting to a new timetable
It's valuable to pause and recognise that it isn't just those returning to school that have to get used to new routines.
As parent carers, we may well be about to have to adjust to a whole new schedule too - and if we're working, this can be a little trickier.
"From September, I'll have 3 children at 3 different schools, with 3 different sets of clubs. And that's before I even start to address the anxiety each child has about going back. My brain and memory are going to get a serious work out as we adapt to yet another new normal and I try and keep things calm for the kids! I think my petrol bill is about to go through the roof too!"
2. Getting organised
Easy to say and perhaps a bit tougher to implement. Our admin top tips for busy carers may be of help. Whether it be making the most of Alexa or Siri to set reminders, placing written reminders directly on the fridge or setting 20 minutes aside to create a plan. One that includes our needs too!
Why not make a nice brew, in your favourite mug. Put on some music you love - maybe even our "go-to calm and peaceful" playlist, or our "mood booster" playlist and turn the planning task into something a bit enjoyable!
Young adult carers
Many young adult carers are about to embark on university.
Our '10 top tips for young adult carers off to university' suggested by young adult carers may be a helpful read.
Abi, a young adult carer, uni student and regular attendee of our cuppas has kindly shared her thoughts and advice below:
"I am currently heading into my first year of university. The nerves are there, as with any big new change, comes the doubts, nerves and even the 'am I doing the right thing?' question."
"University will have lots of support in place for you so make the most of it. Applying for Disabled Student Allowance (DSA) if you have a disability – I did and honestly it’s going to make a massive difference knowing I have someone there to help me with my work and getting settled into the university."
"Get prepared now with your stationary, folders, plastic wallets, pens, highlighters. My top tip that saves me a lot of time when I am studying is extra long A4 dividers from Rymans."
What's next?
The wonderful thing about the Mobilise community is that we learn that we're not alone. Whether we're getting our children prepared to go back to school (mentally and physically) or are returning ourselves, we hope you were able to take one small thing from this blog to make the process a little more manageable.
Don't forget, you're very welcome to join the Mobilise Hub to chat and connect with others going through a similar situation.
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