Coping with Change and Uncertainty
With so many changing rules, with us in and out of lockdown, and with many of us experiencing big personal changes, the Corona virus has certainly brought much change and uncertainty to our lives.
"Uncertainty is exhausting"
Our brains thrive on logic, yet we've lived many months now, where the rules keep changing and there has been much uncertainty and fear. We know from neuroscience, that we like certainty, so change can be unsettling and exhausting for us. And especially so, for those of us prone to anxiety.
So there are a few things going on for the carer community right now;
From managing anxiety, as some friends and the general public may seem to be more 'relaxed' around us.
To having tricky conversations - "no it's not OK for our kids to have a playdate yet" to "please could you wear a mask?".
To managing feelings of resentment that for many of us, our lives are still on hold.
And perhaps managing pressure from the people we support. Maybe they've seen the pictures of 'fun on the beach' and don't understand why they can't join in. Or they're still wondering why you're not visiting them so much in their care home.
To managing our own guilt and anxiety over any decisions we are making on behalf of the person we care for - especially if they can't have a say themselves.
To just simply coping with the constant flux of change.
It can feel like a lot of responsibility.
3 tools to navigate change and uncertainty
1. Focus on what you can control
Give your mind a break from 'what ifs' by focusing on things you have control of.
Things you can control may include;
Making a conscious choice (and sticking to it), about how much time you spend online looking at social media
Choosing a beneficial morning routine that works for you. Perhaps a walk or meditation. Or just simply a cup of tea in your 'good mug' in your favourite chair before you start the day
Arranging a social get together (online if needs be) that meets the current rules, and which you're comfortable with (and being clear with friends) - (rather than reacting to other people's invitations and expectations)
Check out James' blog on how carers are coping, and their top 5 tips - which include taking control!
2. Challenge how you feel about uncertainty
For example, when faced with uncertainty, do you imagine a 'worst case' scenario unfolding?
This is completely natural. By planning for the worst we can achieve a sense of 'control' through a feeling of being prepared.
Having a 'what if plan' has value, but don't let it define your thinking. Get it done, saved and shared, but then move on and consider a positive 'what if'.
If you only focus on the negative, your mind will seek and find evidence to 'prove you right'. However - this will be at the expense of noticing the positive 'stuff'. By visualising a positive outcome, you can see more of the good stuff, which will support your mood and mindset.
3. Focus on the present
A popular technique within our caring community, is mindfulness. Pausing and calming our minds. The only thing that is known is the present. In the present we can't worry about what may or may not happen. Practising mindfulness gives our minds and emotions a valuable break.
There are several ways of doing this - even when you 'have no time'!
And to get you started, here's a short video, we posted on our YouTube Channel:
Check out our blog How to care for yourself, when there's no time to care for yourself. Which includes how to do a Sensory Mindful Minute! We also have some simple mood boosting techniques, you may enjoy.
In our life as carers, it can feel like so much is out of our control - pandemic or no pandemic! Meaning that tools like these are valuable to us, throughout our caring life.
We've written several blogs on wellbeing, which you may like to check out:
Both introduce wellbeing techniques through short video tutorials. Let us know in the comments or in our community, what your favourites are!