“I wish I had known that” is a sentence I think I’ve said thousands of times.
Being a carer to my mum (see my other blog about my dislike for the word carer) has brought with it so many challenges, and I often felt like I was the first person facing them (Spoiler alert – I wasn’t).
But the isolation, that so many people feel going through similar situations, is real.
And it is a problem.
Supporting someone you love brings with it a whole host of emotions that no one prepares you for or talks about.
The first time I met someone who was going through a similar situation, it was such a relief to know that it wasn’t just me dealing with these emotions, including some which I was embarrassed and ashamed that I was feeling.
So I wish I had known that IT IS OK to…...
Ask for help
Be pissed off when no one helps
Be annoyed when someone asks if you’ve been crying
Feel like you are missing out on life because of it
Say I don’t know
Feel like your home is a prison
Not answer the phone when things are getting too much
Feel like your life doesn’t seem to belong to you anymore
Say “No” when you can’t take it anymore
Make time for yourself
Be angry when you have to change your plans because something has come up
Hide things from your friends
Question a Doctor – they don’t always know it all
Laugh at how ridiculous the situation is
Feel like people don’t care about you
Wish this all happened to someone else
Want it to end
Feel like you are not doing enough
Feel like you will never do enough
Feel like you are doing too much
Say things in your head that you are truly ashamed of…
We all go through these, but it is so much worse thinking you are going through them alone. There's plenty of people out there who know how if feels, consider signing up for some personal support with our carers coaches, if you would like a safe space to talk.