Carer's guide to managing someone else's money 

Practical tips for managing someone else’s money

Budgeting and planning can be daunting tasks. But with a little creativity and planning, we can make the process clearer, simpler to manage. 

There are lots of apps and tools on our phones or tablets that can help make these processes less overwhelming. Even if we don’t love doing the admin, it can feel like an almighty relief to finally have it under control. 

Here are seven practical tips we can try:

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​1. Make a plan/budget for their monthly costs

If we’re looking after someone else’s money, it can be useful to write a breakdown of their monthly costs. This way, we can show the person how and where we’re spending their money. Being open and transparent about where the money is going helps to build clarity and trust. 

This document can also act as a checklist for us so we can track what we need to buy and pay for each month. There are lots of digital apps that can help too.

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2. Establish a cost split if you’re living together

If we’re living with the person we care for, it's important to establish a fair and transparent cost system that suits everyone. This may be different, depending on our relationship with the person we care for. If we’re caring for our partner, this will probably look and feel different to caring for a parent or adult child. 

As their carer, we’re not legally obliged to cover any of their costs. But we may feel we want to help out with their living expenses.

In these situations, the most suitable approach to cost splitting will vary depending on the dynamics in our household. But, having conversations and getting a plan in place can stop costs from getting muddled or spiraling out of control.

It can also help us to avoid any resentment that may build over time. Find out more about asking the person you care for to contribute to costs.

​3. Use a receipt book

If we’re not a fan of online tools or digital banking, we could use an old-fashioned receipt book to keep on top of expenses. This can also be useful for transparency about what has been spent and when. 

“Buy a receipt book and write the date, items bought and total amount. You keep one copy and provide them with the other copy.”

4. Be open - have ‘the money chat’

Having conversations about money isn’t always comfortable. But being open with others can help to avoid misunderstandings. Managing someone else’s finances requires a great deal of trust. So we’ll need to approach the topic with respect for the person we care for’s concerns and wishes. 

Establishing an open-book policy can also help us to manage money as a team with the wider caring circle, preventing any suspicions or accusations. Our guide to having difficult conversations has some thought-starters for fostering a healthy and open dialogue.

5. Take ownership

It’s easy to bury our heads in the sand when it comes to money. Or feel resentful at all the extra work we’re now responsible for. 

But ignoring what needs to be organised leads to even more stress and anxiety. Health conditions like depression, or an ADHD diagnosis can make it harder to stay organised. 

💡 Top tip: If we’re struggling to keep on top of the admin, could we ask a friend or family member to help us set up budgets and systems so it’s easy to stay on track? If we’re able to, we should lean on the strengths of other people in our caring circle.  

“I absolutely hate anything finance related. I get very stressed and rather resentful to be honest. One thing that has helped is ‘accepting it’ as part of the ‘job’ and blocking time out in my diary. I then tackle it like any other caring-related job such as all the washing! It still takes time, but I feel more at peace with it. Plus giving it some time in my diary every week, helps me to stay on top - well, almost… I also treat myself to tea and cake while I’m knee-deep in numbers - it softens the blow”

6. Speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau

If we have a specific question about managing someone’s debt, pension or assets, the Citizens Advice Bureau can help. Their free and impartial service offers guidance on various topics, including financial matters, helping us to understand our rights and responsibilities.

You can find your local branch on the Citizens Advice Bureau website or speak to an advisor over the phone on 0800 144 8848 (England) or 0800 702 2020 (Wales). The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm.

7. Make the most of digital products to help with budgeting and keeping money safe

Products and tips for helping to keep money safe

It can be very upsetting if the person we care for is the victim of a scam or fraud.

There are more and more products becoming available that can help us keep their money safe. 

Here are some ideas and products that other carers are using:

​1. Third-party mandates

If the person we care for is in the early stages of a degenerative disease like dementia, adding ourselves to their bank account means we can pay bills and withdraw money on their behalf. 

This is called a third-party mandate - a legal authorisation given by an account holder to allow another individual to access and manage their bank account on their behalf. This enables us to make payments, transfer money or set up direct debits for bills. 

Many carers in the Mobilise Community say that it’s important to set up these arrangements in advance. It’s more challenging to gain decision-making financial powers if the account holder is no longer able to understand or sign legal documents. 

Having access to their accounts also means we can check that they’re not being financially exploited - which is unfortunately a risk in this day and age. 

How to set up a third-party mandate: 

To set up a third-party mandate, the person we care for must fill out the necessary paperwork provided by the bank. The bank may require specific documentation, such as a lasting power of attorney or a letter of authorisation, to ensure that the arrangement is valid and legally binding. 

Banks usually have their own requirements regarding third-party mandates, so we should get in contact to understand their guidelines.

If the person we care for is unable to understand and give consent for this, we may want to consider something called deputyship. 

We might also want to consider being open and transparent with other family members, to hopefully avoid later concerns or conflict.

​2. Online banking

Many banks offer an online banking service (via an app) that allows us to oversee and manage multiple accounts. As long as we have the person’s authorisation, we can oversee their spending and transactions while on-the-go, and pay bills on their behalf.

It’s worth speaking to the bank to see if they offer online banking and bill payments for multiple accounts.

3. Budgeting apps

There are lots of budget apps and tools at our disposal.

One app some carers are using is Emma for digital budgeting. With permission, this smartphone app automatically categorises transactions so we can effectively manage their budget and get an overview of spending habits.

Emma uses open banking to connect all of our accounts together, using bank-grade encryption to keep data secure and safe. 

The company is FCA and ICO registered, so is generally regarded as safe - but it’s always wise to do our own research when it comes to financial apps. 

4. Google Sheets and Excel

For those of us that prefer a more straightforward budget online planner, Google Sheets and Excel have lots of free budget planner templates. These are computer programs that help us to organise and analyse our money, using a grid-like structure - making it more “visually appealing” to see where money is going. Of course, we can customise these templates based on the expenses we want to track. 

Work Smarter Not Harder’s YouTube video on building an Excel budget template is a great place for beginners to get started.

We also like Money Saving Supermarket’s free budget planner spreadsheet, which can be accessed on Excel or printed and filled out by hand. It allows us to detail all of our incomings and outgoings so we can stay on top of our money. 

5. Trust Management software

When we’re responsible for managing funds held in a trust, trust management software can be useful. There are various products available, which allow us to oversee trust assets, monitor investments, generate reports, and track distributions. A good starting point would be a financial advisor.

6. Sibstar

Sibstar is a debit card and app helping families living with dementia to safely manage their loved one’s money. We can load a specific amount of money to the Sibstar account and use the app to manage how and where the money can be spent. 

This allows the person we care for, to retain their financial independence without coming to harm. For instance, we could allow the card to be used at in-store till points such as the supermarket, but restrict its use online and cashpoints, to shield them from scammers. 

To join Sibstar, there’s a £4.99 set-up fee and a £4.99 monthly subscription fee, while ATM withdrawals cost 99p. Sibstar says that 7.5% of profits go directly back to Alzheimer’s Society too.

If the person you are caring for doesn’t have dementia but you think the Sibstar card would be helpful do get in touch with the Sibstar team.

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7. Digital Banking apps

Digital banks like Monzo, Starling and Revolut are free to sign up to and have lots of benefits for people caring for someone. We still get a physical bank card but all the banking is done online on a mobile app.

The most useful features include:

• Joint accounts: Digital banks often provide the option to open joint accounts. This means the person we care for can have the independence of their own account and bank card, but we can have real-time visibility of their finances at the click of an app. This allows us to keep an eye on their spending habits. 

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• Set spending limits: With a digital bank account, we can also set spending limits for the person we care for. This means they can avoid overspending and manage their own money effectively. We can also move the rest of their money into a ‘safe space’ so it’s not available to be spent, if the card gets stolen. (We can also  ‘lock’ the card via our app, as soon as we know it is missing).

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• Create pots: We can create ‘digital pots’ to categorise money in the account. Pots help us to allocate and organise funds. For instance, we may want to move their bill money and grocery money into separate pots so we can see what’s left over. We could also create an emergency ‘buffer’ pot for any unforeseen costs. We can then set up recurring transfers to move money automatically each month. Some banks also have a ‘round-up’ feature that rounds up transactions to the nearest pound and moves the leftover change into a savings pot.

“I love using the saving spaces [pots] in my Starling bank account. I have pots for all known expenditures such as groceries, hair cuts, bills, plus one for emergencies. I also have a small pot called ‘fun’ which makes me smile. It really helps me stay on top of things.”

• Split the bill at the click of a button: If we’re set up with digital banking accounts at the same provider, we can easily split bills and transactions with the person we care for. The bill-splitting feature on banks like Monzo lets us ping a request to a ‘friend’ to share the bill evenly or specify individual amounts. This can be really handy if we’re splitting the cost of groceries or bills.

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• See money clearly: Digital banks update in real-time. This means that the balance updates instantly after each transaction, so we can always see how much money is available in the account.

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• See upcoming bill payments: Digital banks provide apps that allow carers to access their statement on the go. We can instantly get an overview of our bills and direct debits so there won’t be any nasty surprises at the end of the month.