Managing our stress as carers
- Emily Hart
- Apr 17
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 17
While stress might not always come with flashing warning lights, it’s something many of us experience in our caring role daily and sometimes we only notice it once we’re already running on empty, or burnt out completely.
We recently held a Mobilise: LIVE session with the wonderful Lottie Storey, qualified therapist and writer, who took us through some simple, powerful ways to understand and manage our stress levels as they fluctuate. (If we want to join future Mobilise: LIVE events hosted by guest experts or carers just like us, we can sign up here). Here are some of the key exercises and resources that might help us feel just a little more in control when life starts to feel overwhelming, something many of us know all too well.
What is stress?
Before we can manage stress, it helps to understand what it is and how it might manifest for us.
As Lottie explained during the session:
"One of the really easy ways to think about it is when stress is when there are too many demands on you and you don't have enough resources. There is an imbalance of what's being asked of you and what you have to give."
Stress isn’t just about feeling busy or tired, it’s a physical and emotional response to challenges we’re facing, especially when those challenges feel relentless or out of our control. By noticing how stress shows up in our bodies and minds, we’re already taking the first step towards managing it.
Getting to know our nervous system
When we’re constantly in 'go' mode, our nervous system can end up stuck on high alert. That’s why understanding the science behind how our body responds to stress can make a big difference.
Sometimes, simply recognising that our bodies are reacting physically, and that stress is not just an emotion we experience mentally, can help us take the shame or guilt out of how we feel. From there, we can slowly start to regulate our nervous system and begin to ease the physical feeling of stress in our body.
As shown in the snippet above, Lottie shared a few great examples we might want to try to soothe our nervous system:
Grounding exercises (like noticing five things you can see, hear and feel)
Gentle movement or stretches
Slowing our breath down, even just for a minute
None of these methods need to take long, but setting aside a few moments to try them can help us shift out of overwhelmed mode and into something more manageable.
A simple way to picture our stress levels using the stress bucket
One of the most helpful metaphors Lottie shared was the Stress Bucket. When we're caring, it can be helpful to imagine our invisible bucket. Into the bucket goes everything that causes us stress. It might be hospital appointments and sleepless nights, or the emotional load of advocating for the person we look after. As we all know, our buckets can fill up pretty fast - to the point where they might overflow. This is when we start to experience complete exhaustion or burnout from the stressors we're facing.
But the good news is... there are also taps on our bucket!
The taps represent the things that help us release some of the pressure and stress we're feeling. Whilst they might not make the things in our bucket go away, they can help us to relieve the load.
Our taps to help us empty our bucket might include:
Having some form of respite, even for an hour
Finding opportunities for mini breaks throughout the day
Venting to a friend who listens
A walk, or other way of moving our body
Releasing emotions through a cry, a laugh or a short moment of calm
Creating time for a hobby, such as gardening, or something creative
Posting how we're feeling in the Mobilise Hub
Everyone’s taps are different, and part of the exercise is recognising which ones help us the most. We can try Lottie's exercise using the video below and our downloadable template (or draw our own) to better understand what things might be in our bucket right now and what we can do to empty the bucket using our taps.
A moment of calm with Lottie
Sometimes, we might just need a short but important moment to pause and take a breath to ground ourselves.
Lottie’s short guided meditation is one we can return to any time we feel the need to re-centre whether we’re sitting in the car, waiting for an appointment, or finally grabbing five quiet minutes on the sofa. It’s a micro-break that’s there whenever we feel like we need to pause for a quick moment of calm.
If we’re interested in trying more meditations, we have created a playlist on youtube full of them for us to come back to whenever we need a moment.
What’s next
Sometimes when we're stressed, we might feel like we don't have the time or energy to follow along with an exercise. But even just a few moments spent on trying to work through some intense emotions can help us begin to feel a little more grounded so we can catch our breath, recharge, and go again. These exercises will always be here for us to come back to if we need them.
If we're feeling stressed right now or just curious about what might help, here are a few gentle next steps.
Share in the Mobilise Hub
Caring can feel like a constant balancing act and sometimes, like we’re the only one spinning this many plates. But we're not alone, we can join the Mobilise Hub today to get support and advice from other carers going through the same thing or share what’s helped us with others.
Find local carer services
If we want to find more local support, we can use this handy tool to find what carer services are available in our area.
Join a Cuppa
Our free Cuppa’s run throughout the week and offer a warm and welcoming space to chat with other carers in the community. We can sign up for upcoming cuppas here.
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