When Mother’s Day isn’t just daffodils and breakfast in bed

Caring as a mum of a child with additional needs isn’t always the story we see on Mother’s Day. For some mums, the day brings complex layers: love and pride sit alongside exhaustion, advocacy, and a kind of care that doesn’t stop for special occasions. If a child doesn’t understand the day, it can sting.

At Mobilise, many of us care for a member of our family, including children. We spoke to our Product Manager, Claire Cook, about caring for her daughter Isla and how Mother’s Day can feel.

“I care for my daughter Isla. She’s 16 and has Down’s Syndrome, ADHD and is autistic. She's not a great sleeper… She’s non-verbal, has no safety awareness, and needs full care.”

Full care needs at 16 mean hands-on support with every aspect of daily life. It means sleep that never quite settles, constant vigilance, and a continual recalibration of routines, therapies, and advocacy. But it also means a home filled with giggles and a personality that wraps everyone around her finger. 

“Mother’s Day can be difficult if your child doesn’t understand,” Claire says.

“I’ve never felt it too much because I have two other children who bring me a cuppa, breakfast, and a cuddle. But without them, it would feel very different. Losing your own mum also changes the day. There’s a window in life when Mother’s Day feels simple - blink, and it passes.”

Despite the challenges, Claire has been able to find support:

“Self-development has been one of the biggest supports. Studying behavioural science and adopting healthier habits has been game-changing. Carers aren’t just giving; they’re growing. Looking after yourself isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.”

Flexible work has also been crucial. An understanding employer allowed Claire to rebuild her career, providing financial security, self-worth, and balance. Work, when it fits, becomes protective rather than draining.

Covid-19 brought another shift: her husband’s flexible work schedule allows them to share the caring load. “We’re more of a team,” she says. Community matters too.

“Finding my people, those who get you but also lift you, is key,” Claire explains.

Carer friendships thrive on understanding, support, and forward momentum, not over-explaining or dwelling in frustration.

When asked what she wishes employers understood about parent carers, Claire is direct: ask what we need. Early on, it’s about time and space. Later, it’s autonomy, flexibility, and trust

“Parent carers are excellent at getting things done, literally moving mountains. We’re tenacious, authentic, and focused. But that only works when employers trust us to balance work and life.”

Mother’s Day can be complicated for parent carers. It doesn’t pause the hands-on care, the planning, or the advocacy that fills their days. The work is constant, demanding, and often unseen, but it’s essential to the lives of the children they care for, and it shapes their families in profound ways.