Caring through the summer holidays
- Emily Hart
- Jun 26
- 9 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
When we hear 'school holidays' we might first envision relaxed days, ice creams, and endless sunshine. But for those of us who are also carers, this time of year can come with an extra layer of pressure and even more juggling than usual.
The holidays can bring a shift in routine - it might be that we’re caring for our children, looking after someone while having to juggle kids being off school, or being called on to help out with our family or friends' little ones. With that can come an increase in stress, overwhelm, change to our routine, and the sense that we’re meant to be doing it all.
Why do the summer holidays feel so overwhelming?
When school’s out, the balance that many of us rely on shifts. The days may be longer, but the to-do list often gets longer too. Children who were previously at school or nursery are now home full-time, which can remove our source of routine and possibly respite.
If we’re already caring for someone else, the added pressure of entertaining, supervising, or planning for children being around us can leave us feeling pulled in multiple directions without having the resources to cope.
We might also feel the weight of the invisible expectations around pressure to make the summer feel magical, look like someone else's seemingly perfect life or have to fill the days with activities and somehow manage it all with little to no help. It’s no wonder this time of year can feel heavy.
What summer holidays might look like depending on our caring situation
Whilst this period might feel more stressful than normal for many of us, how the summer holidays impact us can vary hugely depending on our circumstances. We might experience the shift in a variety of ways.
Caring for children who are now home full-time
When school ends, it can feel like structure disappears overnight. That quieter period we might have once had whilst our child was at school is temporarily on hold, meaning we now need to provide constant supervision, stimulation and emotional support for them which can be draining for us. We might find that we now have fewer breaks in the day and for those of us who rely on schools to give us time to rest, work, or look after other responsibilities, this can feel particularly challenging.
Caring while also parenting
Some of us might be supporting our cared for whilst also looking after our children. During the summer, that balancing act becomes even more delicate. We might experience guilt about not being able to give everyone the attention they need, or feeling like we’re constantly firefighting when we're reacting to everyone else's needs rather than having space to plan or think about our own needs.
Expectations of grandparents and wider family to help over the summer whilst also caring
Many grandparents and other family members may already be caring for someone and the summer holidays can bring an expectation that we’ll also step in to look after grandchildren or kids in the family. This can be rewarding sometimes but it can also be exhausting. Saying no (or not right now) can feel uncomfortable, but it’s often necessary to protect our own wellbeing when we're already balancing a lot on our plates.
Young adult carers stepping up during the holidays.
For young adult carers, breaks from being in education often mean stepping into even more responsibility. We might find that we no longer have that break from our caring duties when we go to school, but instead we will probably be spending more time at home or with our cared for, which can make us feel lonely and stressed. It might also feel frustrating to see our friends less if we don't get to see them outside of class. Seeing our classmates head off on holidays or doing exciting things that we wish we could do might also add to our feelings of isolation or even jealousy.
What might help us over the holidays? Ideas and suggestions from the Mobilise community
This time of year won’t look the same for all of us but there are things we can try that might make it feel a little easier. Here are some ideas that those in the Mobilise community have shared.
Planning ahead if we can
Creating a loose plan for the week (emphasis on loose) can help reduce decision fatigue and create some predictability for both us and for those we care for. This doesn’t need to be rigid. A simple plan with one or two activities per day can ease some of the pressure of needing to fill our days with loads of activities to keep kids entertained.
Simple tools like a whiteboard with the day’s plan, a wall calendar for the whole family to see, or a visual checklist can help children (and us!) see what’s coming up, which can help make the day feel more predictable and transition a little smoother for everyone.
“We use a whiteboard to help manage our household diary. Appointments and plans can change out of the blue but it's easy to move things with a whiteboard”
Let’s not compare our summer to someone else's
It’s easy to scroll through social media or chat with friends and suddenly feel like we’re the only ones not jetting off somewhere exciting, filling every day with sunshine and adventure. But the truth is everyone's summer will look different, and that’s normal.
“Does anyone else get slightly bugged when they hear folks around them planning/going on holiday? Not had one for years”
Some of us might be juggling care and work during the summer. Others are managing changing routines, limited budgets or just trying to keep everyone safe and settled at home. That doesn’t make our summer less meaningful.
If we’re starting to feel like we’re missing out, it might help to take a step back from the comparison trap. Although it might be frustrating, there’s nothing wrong with feeling a bit envious, that’s human. Everyone's time, energy and circumstances are unique so it makes sense that our summer holidays might look a little different, but that doesn’t mean we’re doing anything wrong.
Comparing ourselves to others can sometimes take a toll on our mental health. If we feel like we might need some support with our mental health during the summer, find resources and support in the mental health hub.
Screens, snacks and shortcuts are allowed!
It can be helpful to remember that there is no right or wrong way to spend the summer holidays. Using screens can be a helpful way to give ourselves a quick break, check in on the person we look after, or do a small task whilst the kids watch some telly or play games on a smart tablet. Easy meals or recipes, snacks on a tray and doing what works for our household is more than okay. Good enough is enough.
"Sometimes you need a whole easy week. Jacket potatoes with beans and cheese. Frozen pizza. Easy pasta (cheap stuffed pasta with passata). Something I batched cooked and just needs to go ping. Eggs on toast. Fish fingers, chips and peas. Roasted veg with chickpeas"
How to say no (or not now) without guilt
Boundaries can be especially important during the school holidays, when we might be asked to take on more, whether that’s babysitting, joining in with social events, or taking day trips we just don’t have the energy for.
Having a few phrases ready can help us say no to family and friends without feeling guilty. We might not be able to do everything but we can try to preserve our time and energy where we can.
A few phrases we might want to try:
“I wish I could help more, but I’m already juggling a lot right now.”
“I know the holidays are tricky, but I’m not in a position to take on more at the moment.”
“Caring takes up most of my time and energy, so I need to be realistic about what I can do this summer.”
“I want to be there for you, but I'm pretty stretched at the moment.”
“With the kids off school, I have to be careful not to overload myself so I won't be able to join”
Affordable and easy activities
Keeping children (or grandchildren) entertained doesn’t have to cost a lot and it doesn’t have to be Pinterest-worthy either.
Look out for free or discounted kids’ events (some supermarkets and museums offer vouchers or free entry for both kids and carers).
Create a summer box of toys, stickers or books that only comes out during tougher days.
Have a few “go-to” rainy day activities such as indoor picnics, cardboard dens, baking from a mix, or YouTube yoga.
Reuse what you have from water play with plastic containers to scavenger hunts indoors, or a duvet movie day.
Opening up a box of old family photos, or picking out new ones to update our photo frames can be a weather-proof way to pass the time. Research shows that children who see photos of themselves with family members tend to feel more secure, valued, and confident. If we don’t have any photo frames, we can even just look at older photo albums on our phones for a nice trip down memory lane.
Asking for help and finding support during the school holidays
Whilst it can feel doable, it’s also okay to admit that we might need a bit more support during this time. But asking for help isn’t always easy, especially when we’re not sure how to start the conversation, or even what to ask for. Here are some gentle prompts and practical ideas that might help us take that first step in seeking support over the holidays.
Identify what we need
Before we ask for help, it can be useful to pause and work out what it is that's actually feeling tough right now? Is it…
Constantly juggling childcare and caring?
A lack of time to ourselves?
Feeling overwhelmed by unstructured days?
Trying to keep everyone happy without much help?
Once we know what we need more of (rest, time, company, hands-on support or all of the above) it becomes easier to ask for it.
Gentle ways to ask for help
We don’t need to have the perfect words. Sometimes just starting the conversation is enough.
Here are a few sentence starters that might help start the conversation:
“I’m finding the summer holidays a bit full-on this year. Would you be open to helping with…?”
“Could we chat about sharing some of the childcare this summer? I’m juggling a lot right now.”
“Would you be happy to watch the kids for an hour or two this week? I just need a breather.”
“I want to help with the grandchildren, but I’m also caring for [name]. Can we look at what’s manageable together?”
For more prompts on asking for help, check out our blog asking for help by saying what we mean.
Where to find support outside of family and friends
There’s no one-size-fits-all support but there are places that can help. It’s OK to reach out and see what’s available outside of our initial support networks.
Find your local carers’ organisation Many local services run summer activities, offer short breaks, or can help with respite.
We can use the Carers Trust local support finder to see what’s available in our area.
Charities and community groups From holiday meal schemes to free kids’ activities, there may be more help than we realise. It’s worth searching our local community Facebook pages or library noticeboards or asking our local carers’ service to point you in the right direction.
Talk to other carers online The Mobilise Hub is a free online space where we can share our ideas for things to do during this busy summer period, find good discounts or just rant about how hard this busier period can be for us. We can also find free LIVE events in the Hub if we manage to squeeze in a moment of downtime and want a little break all to ourselves.
We can also use the carers guide to respite to find out more about different ways we can take a break if we need it. Use the guide to find out what funding is available for respite services or see what respite holiday options are on offer for both us and the person we care for during the summer holidays.
It's important to remind ourselves, we don’t have to do it all by ourselves. Just because we can manage alone doesn’t mean we should. Support is not just for emergencies but sustainability too.
Final thoughts
The summer holidays can feel long and overwhelming but they’re also temporary. Within the chaos, there may also be moments of connection, calm, or even joy. We don’t have to make the summer perfect. We just need to make it through in a way that works for us with whatever energy, and resources we have with our own needs in mind.
Sometimes that means letting the house be messy, leaning on screens, or saying no. And sometimes, it means pausing for a kitchen dance party or an ice lolly in the sun. Whatever our summer holidays look like this year, we’re doing our best and that really is more than enough.
Next steps
👀 Speak to other carers in the Mobilise Hub
Join the Mobilise Hub, a free online community of carers where we can swap stories, ask questions and share what’s helped us.
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